Rivalry Week!!!
The very minimally hyped but more exciting week than expected has passed and we are left with a lot to discuss.
Before recapping the matchups, I want to remind you all that there are only 3 more weeks before playoffs start in week 14. The top three teams from each division make it and the division leader has a bye week.
I believe we started the week with 8 teams tied at 5-4 and as we end the week, every team still has a chance at the playoffs. I wish everyone the best of luck in the next few weeks before the playoffs.
I Had a Tight End (Gabby) vs. KhaLacy (Leah)
Let’s start with the ladies first this week. We have to lead off with Demarco Murray who started strong for KhaLacy, dropping 26 points against GB. He scored a 75-yd TD run on the first play from scrimmage and ended up throwing for a 10-yd TD pass as well. Cam Newton looked good scoring 23 points as he ran in his 4th rushing TD of the season. Stefon Diggs continues to dominate targets under new OC Pat Shurmur. He has 13 receptions in consecutive weeks and had 164 total yards week 10. Things aren’t all sunshine and rainbows as Hopkins continues to blow and ex-McFly Jerrick McKinnon is in a timeshare with three unproductive Vikings RBs.
Oh the Tight End side, Big Ben lead the way with 28 points and a dope fake-spike TD pass to Antonio Brown late in the game. Brandin Cooks is a different player at home. He had 15 points and scored his 5th TD in 5 home games this season. Outside of those guys, nothing went well for the rest of the team. Todd Gurley is a bust, Gronk had a quiet game and now has a punctured lung after getting hit in Sundays game, and Jordan Howard might have an Achilles injury.
The big matchup moment came during the Sunday night matchup as both teams sent out 2 players with Gabby hoping to make a comeback down by 11 entering the game. Gronk didn’t have the big game needed to make the push and Hauschka kicked for 13 points as KhaLacy put the win on ice.
Leah wins and is out of the gutter and making a playoff push while Gabby is trying to maintain her current playoff seed.
Leah > Gabby
Marty’s McFlys (Matty) vs. Zeke Squad (Matt)
Thanks to an all around team effort and just great management decisions, the McFlys put up the highest score in the league this week (137) to topple Zeke and his sorry squad. With all due respect, and I did say with all due respect, your team ain’t worth a velvet painting of a whale humping a dolphin. Jk, Matt had a huge week as well making this loss sting even more. Joe Flacco put up 22.14 points against the Cleveland Losers and Tyrell Williams dropped 18.50 for SD. Jamison Crowder found the end zone again for his 5th TD and his 4th straight double-digit game. Even Dan Bailey dropped 12 to give Matt a solid 120.04 points on the week.
Not good enough! I love it when a plan comes together. Let’s get this out of the way, Le’veon finally scored a TD after 9 scoreless weeks. He dropped 25 and is averaging 132 yards from scrimmage per game this season. Matchup with CLE next week could be fun.
Antonio Gates scored for the third straight game and has 9 or more targets in 4 straight. Richard Matthews scored his 6th TD in 6 games and Das looked solid again dropping 18. But let’s give it up to Doug Baldwin, one of Matt’s favorite players who decided to catch 3 TDs on Sunday night, 1 more than his season total before the game.
The McFlys move into first in the Keystone division and the Zeke Squad is legitimately looking at Sacko punishments. To be fair, opponents have scored 75 more points against Matt than the next highest team.
Matty > Matt
Can only beat Scrubs (Brett) vs. Hyde Ya Green (Troy)
It’s becoming increasingly trusting having to write nice things about Troy’s team every week… Can only beat Scrubs got a tough draw during rivalry week as the 3-time champs are no scrubs. Hyde Ya Green was once again lead by David Johnson who ONLY had 22 points against the 49ers this week. Larry Fitzgerald had 12 receptions on 18 targets for 133 yards. For those who are unaware, 18 targets is a lot. The BAL defense had their third straight double-digit game dropping 14 and Tyler Eifert continues to look fully healthy and involved with 96 rec yards. Demaryius Thomas now has 10+ targets in 5 straight as well.
Brett had a chance to steal a win this week as some highly drafted players had solid games. Jordy Nelson and Dez Bryant had 100+ yards and a TD each while Melvin Gordon and Doug Martin both topped double-digits. A couple missed opportunities came in the form of Michael Thomas and Marcus Mariota. Thomas had 40 yards receiving but 2 fumbles to go with for a whopping zero points this week while Mariota had 28 points on the bench, 16 more than starter Matt Ryan.
With the odds stacked against him, Brett’s chances were ruined by Troy’s last three players to play of the week, Russell Wilson (26), Eifert (9), and AJ Green (12).
Hyde Ya Green looks primed for the playoffs but needs to stay hot and healthy to repeat again. At .500, Brett has a chance to make a push the next three weeks.
Troy > Brett … and all of us I guess.
Dirty Brown Outs (Rob) vs. Brees By Your Team (Sal)
Gotta give props where props are due, Rob surpassed his team projection by 40 points this week. Was that enough for him to beat Sal Booboo in this rivalry week?
Let’s lead with Brees by Your Team who got 13 points from DEN defense and 12 from Brian McManus. Sal’s third Bronco, Devin
Booker looked good but turned 24 touches into only 8 points. Kyle Rudolph scored his second TD in two weeks under Shurmur and Jordan Matthews now has 10+ targets in three straight weeks again. Team Name Drew Dress also had a solid game against the DEN defense scoring 21, the most given up since week 1. Disappointingly, Damian Williams, the MIA backup RB, scored twice on the bench.
The Commissioner must have felt good all day as only two starters on his team failed to scored 10+. Mentioned earlier, Antonio Brown scored but he also had 154 rec yards. Rob also got TDs from Vernon Davis, Cameron Brate, OBJ, and Willie Snead (2 TDs). The only QB on Rob’s roster, James Winston, has a fourth straight game of 18+ points. It’s also nice when you drop 130 and nobody on your bench scores a point, perfect lineup.
Rob wins in a full team effort to maintain second place in the Natty Light Division while Sal falls just out of the playoff picture with a good chance to fight back in.
Rob > Sal
Game of Jones (Sean) vs. BasketballSeasonYet? (Chad)
Nothing better than beating someone so badly that they have to quit smoking.
Starting with Sean, the Game of Jones is that of Julio Jones. Even in an ugly loss he manages 135 rec yards. Phillip Rivers also had 25 points before giving 8 back on 4 interceptions. There were more negative to speak of as Terrelle Pryor had less than 5 points and Alshon Jeffrey stunk it up then got a 4-game PED suspension. Three players that had a big week were also on the bench; Ryan Matthews (27), Cameron Meredith (11), and CJ Prosise (15).
Luckily for Sean, Chad must have been watching other sports this weekend as his team mustered only 72 points this week. For comparison, Zeke Elliot had 38. A couple studs in Davante Adams and Chandler Catanzaro scored 11+ while the KC defense has their 5th straight double digit game… I am aware I’ve used that stat a lot this article but I find it to be valuable. JJ Nelson and Jonathan Stewart were duds this week though as they both had less than 4 points.
Saving the best for last, LeGarette Blount now has 12 rushing TDs on the season after adding another 3 this week for Game of Jones. Much to the chagrin on Chad who started Tom Brady and threw zero TDs and had his first INT of the season.
Watch out now, Sean has won three straight and is tied for the second best record in the league. Chad is in a three-way tie with two division matchups to go so there’s a lot to be decided.
Sean > Chad
F*ck the Veto (Brendan) vs. Fetty Watt (Kyle)
I thought I’d make Brendan scroll further before finding his article because he was so excited for a new one to post.
In a thrilling, low scoring matchup, both teams had disappointing and surprising performances this week. Fetty Watt got 18 points from Allen Robinson who he acquired via trade prior to the deadline and Aaron Rodgers continues to be the fantasy QB you drafted despite his team not living up to the hype. Rodgers threw it 51 times and has the most QB points over the past four weeks (27 this week). Jay Ajayi was held to only 8 points and Brandon Marshal is so bad he’s almost bench-able. Sterling Shepard and Devante Parker had 10 points on the bench and MIN defense now has three straight games on 3 or fewer points after being the #1 teams through 6 weeks.
F*ck The Veto is on a hot streak and this week was no different. Jets RBs Bilal Powell and Matt Forte had 14 and 10 respectively. Delanie Walker had 18 and snagged his 3rd TD in 4 games. A couple ugly performances by Sammie Coates (0) and John Brown (4) didn’t ruin Brendan’s chance at the Monday night comeback that rested on the backs of Eli Manning and Rashad Jennings. Down by 22 points entering Monday, Eli and Rashad chipped away at Kyle’s lead throughout the game. Rashad locked up the win as he rushed for 40 yards on the Giants final drive.
After the three game win streak, Brendan is now only 2 games out of the playoffs despite having the least points in the league this season. Kyle is holding onto his playoff spot tightly.
Brendan > Kyle
Thanks for reading! High fives to all the winners who embarrassed a close friend this weekend.
Special thanks to Chad Williams who volunteered to write a Week 9 recap and failed to submit any content….. Way to hustle.
4th & Drunk 